Friday, November 27, 2009

Vote for me. Wait, don't!

Things are heating up. Voting for the indibloggies award - this blog has been nominated for the Most Humorous Indiblog award - has opened and I thought I must go out there and beg for votes. Offer free drinking water, perhaps, and raise the minimuim support price for sugarcane. And then, thinking it over, I realized that everyone will be saying the same thing. After all, how much water can you drink?

So I decided to adopt a novel strategy - the non-direct approach. I thought I would tell everybody not to vote for my blog, the logic being that the voter would think "my god, what a frank and honest candidate! Disarming. Let's vote for him!", resulting in a thumping victory and the right to be paraded around town on an elephant with a garland and a large vermilion mark on my forehead.

And then I remembered that this approach hadn't worked in my early years when, as a young lad full of hormones and hope, I joined the girlfriend stakes. All my competitors, dressed in bell-bottom trousers and Amitabh hair, wooed with all their might while I gently pretended not to be interested in anyone of them. My general strategy was to sit around on campus pretendintg to read Sartre and Bertrand Russell and this strategy basically got me approximately 0.0 enquiries per annum. And finally when I realized it had bombed, I couldn't very well go the bell-bottom trouser way because everyone would know what a fraud I was. Thus I was stuck mateless till the missus sashayed along and did her life's quota of kind deeds by the single act of marrying me.

Now my dilemma is this. Do I be direct and beg you to vote for me, promising free 500ml arrack and half fried chicken or do I get subtle and ask you to vote for someone else, hoping that you will follow all the logic above and vote for me?

So please, vote for me!.

No, wait! Don't

No, no, I mean vote for me

No, don't  .......

28 comments:

Coconut Chutney said...

Mr.S, I have master plan. I'll vote for you, You vote for me, ok va? :D

Aruna said...

I have already voted for you before your campaign "vote for me.Wait, don't" started.

Anonymous said...

Voted.

-
long time lurker

Gradwolf said...

Was this planned or coincidence that when I met Anand in Chennai, we had some Old arrack? :P

le embrouille blogueur said...

To be or not to be ... ah haa .... it is heating up indeed....we shall all vote for you and not vote for you ...all at the same time.

Idling in Top Gear said...

Don't trust chutney. She's a cunning little thing. :D

I'd have voted for you, sirjee, but one unnamed female nominee threatened me with permanent damage to eardrums via her high-pitched wailing if I didn't vote for her. :D

wineye said...

wokay boss.. I got 4 mail ids.. now part with 2L arrack n double fried chicken!!

DO NOT enter Mysuru without these d nxt time.. ;)

Absolutely Normal Chaos said...

How about some good old Indian mithai delivered to the US absolutely fresh? :)

You got my vote!

Bea Walker said...

clap, clap, dust, dust of the hands....through methods sneaky and devious, it is done and now on the knees of the gods....I have voted, err not voted....pliz to start investigating how to mail a bottle of the finest celebrational champagne my way :)

Mr. K Bodhi said...

Done danna done done! I voted for you and Chutney. Two email ids :D

Siddharth said...

Naren - You must be tired with this campaign! Ni Hao?

mani300bc said...

First i thought i will go thru all the nominations. Then i realised that i am already biased, and cant vote for anybody else! So Voted for our own Naren!:)

I am somehow sure (after reading so many blogs!), that there can't be a better humorous blog that this!:)

cheers!

narendra shenoy said...

@chutney - Hehe, sounds devilishly clever! You're on!

@aruna - Thanks! You're in on the spoils!

@anon -Thanks!

@Gradwolf - You did? Then I'm coming to Chennai too.!

@leb -Haha!Please do!

@IITG - Haha! She's my favorite too!

@wineye - Haha! Two votes more and I'll make the chicken boneless

@Chaos -My mom's there till the 8th of dec. I can do mithai :)

@bea - Moet & Chandon for you! When we're bribing voters, we do not stint!

@Bodhi - Thanks! Mucho oblgado

@Siddharth No, not yet tired! And my ni is fine. Your ni hao?

@mani - Haha! Thanks! I love biased voters!

niks said...

Bad Luck Naren. This tactic wont do. I have already voted for you :)

Best wishes.

Pitu said...

Yay!! Bestest of luck!

argumentativeindian said...

delurking to vote for you and wish you all the best!

hope you win, fait accompli! :D

ChUcK said...

Vote or no vote, this is going to get RTed!

Brilliant stuff, Anna. You're an inspiration to all us younger mortals who hope to get nominated one day!

maxdavinci said...

with non-appeals liek this, what chance do kids liek us stand?

Rithish said...

Such a dilemma! I follow and like all three - Sidin, biker and you. But there's only one choice to make. Maybe I'll delay the decision some more.

crumbs said...

the BJP called. they want to hire you as strategist for the next elections :P

Mr. K Bodhi said...

I was just listening to one Mr. Eminem. He seems to a very distinct style of singing. Or, actually reciting. And his views are fairly interesting and new.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

nothing less than anarkali chicken i say. you can mail it to cynicinwonderland@gmail.com. Votes shall be cast the minute the aroma comes wafting in! :D

LG said...

I did not vote for you :)..btw my blog is nominated too..plz don't vote :)) LOLz

Sirpy Jayaprakasam said...

First time here.. The infamous Prisoner's Dilemma, I see. I empathize with your girlfriend-seeking problem... :(

Btw, voted for ya after running through the others.. Hope you win.. ATB..

Raju said...

Which party are you running this election with? And time and again, we Indians have to show that we are true fans of democracy eh?

Bipasha said...

Read your blog for the first time today and I was hooked, started reading it in office and just finished the last post. You definitely have a new fan.

And ya, vote, I shall.

Deepak Gopalakrishnan said...

Sigh, looks like the popularity contest won out, eh? :P

arvind said...

i never exercised any vote coz i was not aware of any such contest, but RTDM is ahead of his nearest mortal blogger at least by two milky-ways... and guess its only fitting that he won... and ya just read ur first blog about the flight and ur husbands thing for maths and all, will read it more frequently, not tat you care much but just wanted to tell you... may be ur write ups sound more cute when you are narrating because of the girl factor, but when its writing even in humour there should be lot of profoundness in person... well am not even one tenth talented as you are in terms of exposure or any other way, but its just an opinion anyway... you are the third blog that i added and i hope that the experience you guys put thru these blogs will give me those additional wings by way of reading them & the ensuing been there done that simulation...