I wrote this meaning to post it on google plus, it being private and all, and ironically, it kept disappearing from google plus. After what-the-effing exasperatedly for a while, I decided to have my revenge by posting it on the blog after all. Here goes
I'm quite enamored with this Google Plus thing. I had more or less stopped blogging because, well, I write autobiographical stuff and you cant really write autobiographical stuff without, well, being autobiographical.
What I mean is, I'm terrified of accidentally revealing stuff to the missus, or to her spies, stuff that we, the boys and I, take great pains to keep under wraps for all kinds of deep strategic reasons.
For instance, this evening, the lads told me a joke.
"Annie, Annie, you want to hear a joke?" one of them asked
"No thanks", I replied. I have learned it is better not to listen to these guys' jokes.
"Ok Annie, here it is", he continued, as if I hadn't said a word.
"I said I didn't want to hear it. I'm busy."
"Annie, why is a wonder-bra called a wonder-bra?"
"Why is a wonder bra called a wonder bra?"
"Ok I heard it the first time. My 'What!' was an expression of incredulity that two Indian teenagers could actually contemplate telling jokes about wonder bras to their father. Its against Indian Culture."
"Annie, should it be 'Wonder bras' or 'Wonders bra' ?"
I stared at him incredulously some more.
"You know, you were explaining the other day how it should be Brothers in Law and not Brother in laws."
'Er, Wonder bras is correct", I replied, hoping that that would be that.
"Annie, so answer the question"
"I just did"
"No, the earlier one."
'What earlier one?"
"Annie, it is 'Which earlier one', not 'What earlier one'. Why are wonder bras called wonder bras?"
I gave up.
"Ok, you tell me"
"Because when she takes them off, you wonder where the tits went"
I stared at the lad.
"Where did you learn words like that?"
"Wonder bra? Heard it on TV I think. Don't remember"
"No, the other word"
'Which other word"
"Tits" I whispered.
And the missus of course chose that exact moment to enter the room. A bit like those farcical plays. Except that this is real life and I am likely to get my ears seared with some sharp rebukes.
" What this about tits?" she asked, using the sharp voice that is the harbinger of sharper things.
I gulped. A sort of darkness was beginning to envelop me. But the younger son came to rescue.
"Annie was telling us about the white-naped tit and why its population is declining rapidly. It used to be endemic to India"
"Er, exactly. Ok boys, time to learn some mathematics. Where is the calculus text?"
And the moment passed. A moment best treasured in silence, as you would doubtless agree.
And yet, I have this crazy urge to tell someone. Which is why I like Google+ because hopefully no one will tell the missus.