Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Sentiments and the Stock Market

As I write this, the Indian stock market is curing a lot of punters of their constipation by going up and down like a yo-yo. I'm watching the CNBC TV18 channel to find out what the wisest in the land prognosticate for the stock market. After all, it's money, honey.

Well, all that the nice lady with the lousy make-up is talking about is "sentiment". It is news to me that hardened capitalists like stock market traders can be sentimental, but apparently, that's what they are. I can almost imagine them sniffling and wiping away a tear as they contemplate the widow or orphan whose bread they have just snatched. Well they are very sentimental people. Sometimes, they send stock prices up, especially when they are sentimental and happy. At other times, they send stock prices down real fast, like now, when they are sentimental and scared. Hmmm.

I get the sneaky, but extremely heretical here in my office, feeling that the people on CNBC TV18 do not know anything about the market, which direction it is going, why it will do so, what clothes are in, why it is uncool to have 17 long strands of hair combed across a bald pate in a bid to appear unbald. Oh no, the CNBC TV 18 guys know everything. If only we could understand properly what they are trying to say, we would all be millionaires. This dude just told us that in his view, the stock market would oscillate in a band. What band would that be sir? A jazz band? The New York Philharmonic? The Naval Band? A rubber band?

And now, another bloke tells us to adopt a wait and watch policy. That was so deep. He must have really put hours of thought before he came up with that one.

I think I will apply to CNBC TV18 for a job. I am ugly. I have no dress sense. I am very good at talking without routing the content through the brain. I have an MBA, too. Am I overqualified?

8 comments:

doamna said...

Sentimental? They? That is probably the newest news I've heard yet! Fabulous, and thank you!
Doamna
P.S. Your blog is fantastic! I've burst out laughing at my workplace all too many times to make it safe for me to read when co-workers are around...

narendra shenoy said...

Doamna - Thanks a million. That was very nice of you.

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

Lol, but the real question is - what kind of attitude do you have? Do you have the attitude that you have all the answers? That's a common quality to all these CNBC pundits as well.

Vijay said...

You dont seem to be bald.. hence no comb over... sorry not qualified..

Seriously do people actually take their investment advise "seriously"?

narendra shenoy said...

BPSK - You're so right. These guys know it ALL. The answers to life, the universe and everything? That lady with the crazy eyes knows it, I'll bet my keister. Well, I thought I knew everything but marriage dispelled that delusion.

Vijay - You would be amazed at the intensity with which their obiter dicta are followed. Prophets could take their correspondence course.

Anonymous said...

You are hysterical! Loved the 'bald' and 'rubber band' bits!

Maddy said...

did u mean lousy lady with nice make up? but well TV hyping & spinning is an art - ask BPSK about them lot on TV, man how they talk and talk about nothing for hours...

v said...

amazing post! i know i dug deep into your repository but stocks/finance/market will catch my eye even when i'm on my death bed. and i couldn't agree more on your thoughts about the "wait and watch policy". these bastards get paid in six figures for talking shit.