Tuesday, October 6, 2009

My world celebritiness

My dear friends,

It gives me great pleasure to welcome you all to this function specially organized for the purpose of honoring me on the occasion of my elevation to the position of  'world celebrity'.

A deeply thought comment, dripping with wisdom, on the advisabililty of spending Rs. 6000 on an order of butter chicken has been quoted in the Mint  here and now in the Independent here  

To put this into pespective, here are my words, along with famous quotes from competing writers

Shakespeare: To be, or not to be: that is the question.

John Keats: A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness.

Narendra Shenoy : But is it worth 6,000 rupees? The answer, dear reader, is a resounding yes. Provided, of course, that it is somebody else's 6,000 rupees.

Eminem: You make me sick.

As you can see, I am right up there with the best. I am expecting to hear from Paris Hilton any moment now. Of course, my response will be measured, fitting of my stature as a world celebrity

"Mr Shenoy!" Ms. Hilton will gush "You are famous!"

"Oh, it's nothing, really" I will murmur in the muted response characteristic of the truly humble

"Nothing? Nothing? Your wise words have been quoted by world newspapers and you call that nothing? Oh, Mr. Shenoy, I am overcome by your unassuming ways. Please, make love to me right now."

And of course, I will decline respectfully, being a man of character.

The missus has taken a surprisingly dim view of these happenings.

"So someone copy pasted your wisecrack and you're a world celebrity? Give me a break!" she said.

I wisely refrained from telling her about the Paris Hilton thing. Women can never handle that kind of competition, even when it is hypothetical..

And anyway, even Shakespeare had to sufer this kind of stuff

'What kind of rot is this "Friends, Romans,Countrymen, lend me your ears" you've written here, Bill?' Anne Hathaway is reported to have said,  'Why can't you just say "Yo, listen up, y'all!" like the rest of us?'

Yeah, why not, Bill? Wives!


Mr. K Bodhi said...

Is it coincidence that both used the same line? Or, did one copy^2 the line.

P.S. copy^2: copy from copier :D

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy I was following your blog even before you became a 'world' celebrity now!

I think you are a celebrity in your own way, quoted in Independent or not! :)


ps: autograph please.. :D

narendra shenoy said...

@bodhi - LOL@ copy squared!

@saranya - That's so sweet! I'm touched. Thanks!

Coconut Chutney said...

We always knew you were awesome :) now that you know what it takes to be famous, it's high time you started starring in fair and lovely ads. I would like to audition for the part of supportive-friend-who-always-carries-fair-and-lovely-in-hand-bag.


Siddharth said...

Naren Sir

Truly proud of you! BTW, is this occasion enough for you to sponsor at least Vegetarian dishes from the owners of Anaarkali? Or do we really have to wait till you get that Fed Chairmanship :D

I still fall of my chair each time I think about your statement about Akshay Kumar = Laurence Olivier or not.

Gradwolf said...

Hahaha good one! Lol @ Yo, listen up y'll!

gauri said...

Paris: So tell me Naren (pronounced "narro(n)*", do you think I should buy this purse worth 6000 rupees?
Narro(n): The answer, dear Paris, is a resounding yes. Provided, of course, that it is somebody else's 6,000 rupees.
Paris: Aww, narro(n) you're the best! Thank you! mmmuah!

(C'mon are you telling me that mmmuah wasn't worth your Rs. 6k? ;) ).

Math problem: If out of a few million people, Anarkali is quoting the same couple people to advertise their chicken, how many people do you think found it worth its 6000 rupees? The answer, dear reader, is a resounding _ .


* - Sorry I forgot Paris Hilton was Amreekan. I think the Paris part threw me off :P (Yes, I'm sure some other parts threw you off :P)

Side: If comments were meant to be short they'd restrict the character count. But I'm sure you're glad about all the characters who comment ;)

(Ok, now if you plonk me on the head I can at least claim a celebrity quoted along with Shakespeare and Eminem hit me on the head.)

Ranju said...

just one question: of all the people, why Paris ?

until I get the answer, I am not going to congratulate you on the new celebrity status...

PS: is it because she is blond ?

Cynic in Wonderland said...

groupie time - and CiW "Screams and yells and is generally hysterical at the sight of Mr. World celeb. "CiW would also like an autograph. And A anarkali chicken while you are at it.

udtahaathi said...

When I opened the HT cafe yesterday and saw Anarkali Butter chicken I thought of your post. So i wasn't that surprised to see your quote on the article.
Man, you are a hero.

indiegurl said...

no, dear shenoy saar.

paris would have said in a bored fashion "That's haat."

really. :)

Idling in Top Gear said...

I am to warn you that the Hiltons in Paris are quite dirty from years of frequent use. However, word is they allow double-occupancy! :D

narendra shenoy said...

@chutney - LOL! And thanks!

@Siddharth - :D Veg butter chicken sounds interesting! Thanks!

@gradwolf - one of my unfinished blogposts is the translation of hamlet's speech into ghetto-speak. Halfway thru I realized I didn't know enough ghetto-speak But I'll giv it a try nevertheless... It'll probbly be rotten

@gauri LOL!Ram sent me a link to Paris hilton's SNL performance. Here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXilRoCHvWQ
Long rambling comments from you are more than welcome!

narendra shenoy said...

@ranju - Paris Hilton is America's leading practical philospoher! Her being blond has nothing to do with it. Of course, she has done more than anyone in recent times to validate the theory of inverse relation between lightness of hair color and cerebral competence.

@cynic - LOL! and thanks!

@uh - Thanks! And honoured, sir!

@indiegurl - ROFL!

Ranju said...

Ranju is speechless...

Congratulations Hilton !! you are now officially recognized as Paris, the Practical Philosopher !!

Congratulations Naren bhaiyya !! for becoming a world celebrity !! Hope you get to have a date with P the PP and eat Anarkali butter chicken(paid by her)...

swoooooooon *thud* !!

Whinophile said...

If i run like a mad fan and ask for photograph, what will I get? :P

ps - i am a vegetarian - butter chicken wont do! :P

Drenched said...

Woh maaiii gaad! Mr. Shenoy is famous... FINALLY! :P *thrusts a mic under the new celebrity's raised up nose and asks in a hysterical tone* "So, Mr. Shenoy, aapko kaisa lag raha hai?"
And I won't say "autograph plisss" because that is so 90s. I will only queue up outside your house every other day. After all, suckers-seeking-favours-from-world-celebrities never go out of fashion.

Srilakshmi Chodavarapu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Srilakshmi Chodavarapu said...

May be, you should change the name of your blog now! Or is it like the 'Gandhian flamboyant simplicity' and all? :)

Regular reader, Sir. Name Srilakshmi. Now we know each other! :)

Bea Walker said...

What is this - you are famous??!!!
GOT to push all the people in my way away and get to top of the line for autograph....and Paris Hilton???!!!
Sorry saar, that's NOT haat....welcome to celebrity, will the future hold paparazzi? :)