Thursday, April 29, 2010

My vacation - Part 3 - Jinja

Off to Jinja, the old capital of Uganda and the stronghold of people named Madhvani, who are the Ambanis of Uganda. The town is about two hours drive from Kampala. 

Enroute, we passed by a suburb of Kampala named Ntinda. This is pronounced Natinda. Which rhymes with Bhatinda. Which awoke the Keats in me. I composed this little sonnet to a fictitious, touchingly incompetent culinary craftsman, and narrated it to the missus who, as is her wont when in any car ride greater than 5 minutes long, had gone off to sleep.

"There was a young lad from Bhatinda", I told her, nudging her awake gently, "who found a job as a cook in Ntinda. But when he roasted meat, even on the lowest heat, it would somehow get burned to a cinder".

She looked blankly at me. "What in the world are you gibbering about? What have Bhatinda and Ntinda got to do with each other?". I explained the poem to her. A young man, a migrant, leaving home and its hardships, coming to a strange town, landing a job as a cook and then struggling with his inability to roast meat etc.

The missus did not seem to get the poignancy. "Naren, kindly stop this tomfoolery before someone concludes you are non compos mentis. Now let me catch up on some sleep". The missus tends to use latin when seriously pissed. I continued to compose, silently now, my poetic  masterpieces.

There was a young man from Bhatinda/ who married a lady named Linda/ whose hair was highly curled /because the part of the world /she was from was called Ntinda.

Nope. Not as good as the earler effort. Best not to tempt fate by narrating this one to the missus. She has never bitten me but that does not mean she can't. Or won't.

The landscape was beautiful. Just green, green and more green. Our driver Ronald was a dignified and knowledgeable commentator and kept giving me little tidbits of information such as the average rainfall in Uganda, the average temperature, the distance to Jinja, the flora and fauna to be found there, the early white explorer Speke, who afforded great poetic possiblities (The Early White Explorer Speke/ was ordinarily docile and meek/ except when he found/ no shrubbery around/ and he badly wanted to take a leak) but Ronald's constant, dignified commentary rather demanded attention.

Enroute we stopped at a forest called Mabira, which nearly caused civil war in this charming country thanks to one Jay Mehta, husband of Juhi Chawla. This is a long and potentially sensitive anecdote which I will narrate some other time, mainly because I don't know how much truth there is in it. Suffice it to say that if the anecdote is true, said Mehta is a greedy whatchamacallit.

Ok, missus making eyes at me. Will update post lights out.

31 comments:

SRK said...

The twitter feed hisses/ about funny man Shenoy / he somehow manages to annoy / his ever sensible missus / who swings but thankfully misses!

Sriram said...

There was a young man from Bhatinda / who'd eyed this lady named Linda / But try as he might / he'd have to wait till night / His name was Nithyananda :P #youremember :)

Srinivas said...

WoW!!! Uganda seems interesting!!!

mentalie said...

the trouble with great brilliance is that the one sleeping next to it rarely notices. my commiserations.

Sachita said...

Sheela and Neela - twins and not a bollywood story?

Uganda sounds like fun. Cant wait for the long story behind the Uganda base.

Drenched said...

I have a lot of Ms. Geet and oye-hoye-balle-balle Jab We Met type of PJs mixed with Ntinda dancing in my head but I am afraid I will get stoned to death for them.
Did the stop at Mabira include a safari? Saw Jay Mehta in a lion costume?
Also, the young Bathinda man - was he named Cinder(f)ella after the incident of burnt meat?

deepak said...

:)

Arun Sundar said...

Awesome post sir!! The Ntinda poem had me in splits at work!! Damn you :)

Anonymous said...

Haha! The case with me, I'm sure.The brilliant one being the missus of course :)

Anonymous said...

Haha! Brilliant! Why didn't I realize Nityananda rhymes with Bhatinda?

naren said...

Salute, master rhymer :D

Saranya said...

I think I like you and your posts more when you are in Africa! :D
There is this excitement of whether you will be caught by missus or not! :P

Naren said...

Hehe! I'm puncing away at the keys at 1.15 uganda time with the missus
blissfully unaware. I don't think I'm going to get caught tonight. Cheers
and thanks!
On 1 May 2010 01:40, Echo <
js-kit-m2c-5DLD6OTP32FDKJ5O6K8A0HA4HDTQCIRF9TBEDMF6P6AGDBUA11EG@reply.js-kit.com

Spaz Kumari said...

oooo 'making eyes', was she? the pink feet must have worked! oooo ;)

vanwinkle said...

haha i can see that u had a rather interesting ride,wat with coaxing words to form a poem n all. hilarious ones too:) nice li'l travelogue sir:)waitin for the next bit:)
@sriram lol!!

Billy Joe said...

Been following your blog recently. Just wanted to say that I'm enjoying it very much. You have a dry sense of humor and a delightful style of writing.

LEB said...

Bravo .... keep trying Naren...there is more of that rhyme hidden somewhere !!

LEB said...

Bravo .... keep trying Naren...there is more of that rhyme hidden somewhere !!

Chethana said...

You have been silent for a while, wondering if ze missus actually caught you sneaking and creating literary masterpieces!

GSai said...

the lights still on? :P

rk said...

I don't usually comment but hope all is well with you and your family. One month of "lights out" seems improbable :)

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