Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Further News from the Shenoy Household

If you can call it news, that is. I take shelter under the practice that established news channels and magazines follow of calling the reportage of incidents from the movie industry "news". (Hoo! A mouthful, that sentence. Maybe I'm really a middle aged pot bellied bureaucrat trapped in the body of a middle aged pot bellied engineer). My logic is, if "Akshay finds lint in Shilpa Shetty's belly button" is news, then so is old Narendra's "I ate at Dragon Maharaja's Chinese Cart and Survived". (End of apology. News begins)

*Breaking News!*I saw the movie "Race" last night. Actually, by the time I reached the movie hall, about half the movie was over, but you know how it is with Hindi movies. Like the human liver. A little bit can regenerate into the whole.

I know you're dying to know everything. Well, the movie is designed to appeal to young males with a love of fast cars, skimpily clad molls, loud and unsubtle humor, the complete absence of reality from the story, and an IQ of about 50. And with the possible exception of "young" and "love of fast cars", that's entirely me.

The plot is extremely convoluted and every one double crosses every one else. I lost the thread about 57 double crosses into the movie, but the Misses Katrina Kaif, Samira Reddy and Bipasha Basu kept prancing about the screen in outfits of great economy of fabric. My simple mind was easily occupied and it was not until much later (till I sat to write about it, in fact) that I realized that I knew next to nothing about the story line. Heartily recommended, unless of course your IQ is higher than 50. Also, the directness is endearing. Unlike Meena Kumari or Waheeda Rehman, who, when pining for the hero, would talk about dil, dard and pardesi, Katrina Kaif tells Saif Ali to "La La La La Touch me Touch me Touch me, La La La La Hold me Hold me Hold me, La La La La Kiss me Kiss me Kiss me, Oh ho ho, O ho ho". You will be happy to know that Saif gets the message instanter.

In other news, Gautham Shenoy feels that people should give their mountains names like "Bob Mountain" or "Tim Mountain". This observation was apparently inspired by the name of a mountain in Sri Lanka called "Piduruthalagala", which he has to remember for his exams.

14 comments:

Drenched said...

Race? Is Saifuuu looking hot? Is Saifuuu looking hot? Is Saifuuu looking damn hot? Is he? Is he? IS HE? :D :D :D
I think I'm gonna watch that movie. Yes, only watch, actually. To save myself all sorts of trauma, I'll just put on earplugs and simply enjoy Saifuuuuuuuu with my dreamy, starry eyes. *Drenched gone bonkers*

And "Piduruthalagala"? Hahaha. Poor kid. He should probably appeal to the Tamil Tigers to take up this as an issue too. :P

narendra shenoy said...

Saifuuu is extremely hot. Hard body, sparing use of the Gillette disposable, tight fitting clothes. But as one who has seen him in person, I must warn you he is very short. How short? Well, let me put it this way. If you were Nicole Kidman, you could give him a couple of black eyes merely by running into him.

PS said...

Ugh. I watched Dhoom 2 here a few months back. What made the experience worse than it already was was that the crowd cheered and *gasp* enjoyed the film.

Race is on similar lines I presume; catering to the lowest common denominator. With an IQ of 53, I am easily offended by films such as these...

rads said...

rofl! Neat! :)

We are shown multiple times in a day of that Touch me and this one other song where all 6 are doing their thing on the floor and boy it sure is a man's treat, as you rightly said. Really, who cares for the story! ;--)

mayG said...

god u're so funny!

narendra shenoy said...

ps: You're sure to hate the movie from an aesthetic point of view but the assets of the said three damsels are ample, so to speak, compensation.

rads: The music is quite catchy. The dances are vigorous, too. Plus Anil Kapoor says "Intorr-aye-gation" several times. Story, what story - my sentiments exactly. Paisa vasool, I say!

mayg: Thanks, ma'am! You are most kind.

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

Glad to note that G.Shenoy decided to try and memorize the Sri Lankan mountain's name, rather than pleading a hormonal imbalance. :-)

Btw, nice movie review. One more to add to my "never watch" list.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

.. young mr shenoy should do what i used to – mug up precise ONE of these strange names and insist on using it in the exam irrespective of whether the question was asked or not. Every photograph for identification in every exam in the tenth standard was labelled as sanchi stupa by yours truly. They could have shown the Taj mahal and I would have labelled in sanchi stupa.
Piduruthalagala sounds like a good name to answer in irrelevant questions. In fact, i want to mug it up too.
Race is dhoom 3 in camouflage?

narendra shenoy said...

BPSK- You owe me for saving you from a fate worse than death (what else would you call watching a movie like Race, ha ha). I am accepting settlement in molecules of a substance called C2H5OH.

Cynic - HaHaHa. Brilliant! I just have to make sure young Gautam never meets you! You must have been a one-person recruitment agency for the local loony bins. All your teachers would be the "target demographic" as they say. And I hope you won't sue me for copyright violation if I borrow your idea. "Piduruthalagala" would be the perfect answer if some one asked you the question "So, how's life?" and "So, which way do you think the market is headed?" which people keep asking me all the time.

In "Race", Bipasha outruns an SUV. If that is not Dhoom 3, I should like to know what is.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

in fact me and the husband have a running directory of names we like - it includes chinckpokli and gunthur and the latest is Piduruthalagala.

Please feel free to use it as often as possible. we can even have a Piduruthalagala gang ( if i remember its spelling tho).

..oh i used to also arbitly make up stuff in exams. There is this classic story where in a history paper -i had absolutely NO clue what the answer was so i just wrote Salim ( becoz i figured it was muslim era) and Chisti becoz that was the only dynasty i remembered ( similiar sounding to christie) and just added ud din for good measure...and i got the answer right!

narendra shenoy said...

You should be in the MBA racket. There, people who employ arbit words get paid one karod rupees per annum for saying things like "The demographic distribution of the macro economic factors will cause the paradigm to shift our core competencies". This could mean anything from "We're going out of business" to "I think I've got diarrhea". Possibly both.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

naren - i am. only i dont get paid anything close to a crore. sigh. sigh some more.

and strangely enuf i just wrote a post on it before floating here.

PREETI said...

oh my god..RACE...i saw it over the weekend too :( torture is probably an understatement...all i did thru the movie ws be the oh-so-helpin-waiter for my frenz..."anyone want popcorn? il go gt it...coffee anyone? il go gt it"...n so on...

saifu,bein half my height,doesnt appeal to me...bt i ws curious to c tat 'kareena' tattoo across his forearm ;) wich i did manage to catch a glimpse of in one song...

Maddy said...

i think i hv to watch this movie, at home with a remote in hand so as to pause at the right points and FF through the rest...somebody said it is dhoom on steroids..