Saturday, March 29, 2008

Stock Market Advice from Vyaas and Gautham



The script (because the camera work is so crappy. You see, Santosh Sivan was not available, for one reason or another)

STOCK MARKET TIPS FOR ALL YOU IDI...ER... FINE PEOPLE OUT THERE

V: And now, STOCK MARKET ADVICE from our chief investment analyst GAUTHAM SHENOY
G: Thank you.
V. Tell our viewers, Mr. Gautham, which way do you think the market is headed?
G. I think the market is definitely going up unless…..
V: Unless?
G: Unless it is headed down.
V : You mean….
G: I mean it's probably going to remain at current levels.
V: (confused).. I suppose that means you are advising investors to hold on to their investments
G: I'm advising them to watch cartoon network
V: (irritated) Now what connection does THAT have?
G: Cable connection
V: No, man, I mean, what does Cartoon Network have to do with the stock market?
G: You've watched "Road runner"?
V: Er.. Yes…
G: Does Wile E. Coyote try his best to catch the Road runner?
V: He does. So?
G: Does he ever manage to catch the road runner?
V: No
G: What happens to him?
V: He usually gets flattened or blown up. Or falls off mountains
G: Does he look happy
V: I guess not
G: But he keeps trying and trying and trying, doesn't he?
V: Yes. So what's your point?
G: The investor is Wile E Coyote. And the Road Runner is the money that he wants to make. He gets close, but never actually holds his prize. He keeps getting flattened in the process. AND HE NEVER GIVES UP!
V: So you're saying the investor should get out of the market?
G: That's exactly what I'm trying to tell the doofuses who're watching this program.
V: Or should we say doofii?
G: We should always say doofii. My mistake.
V: So what's the safest investment?
G: Listen carefully because I'm only going to say this once…
Look for a nice shady spot.
Dig a large pit
Keep your money in, wrapped in plastic and locked in a metal box
Fill the pit up.
And when people apply for the reliance energy IPO, Laugh like crazy.
V: Thank you Gautam Shenoy. Next time we'll get someone who makes more sense.
Like a donkey who's been sniffing laughing gas
G: You mean, George W. Bush?
V: I mean, George W. Bush

17 comments:

rads said...

hahahaha, good one :)

They wrote the script themselves? The little one is quite into the whole acting eh? :D

narendra shenoy said...

parts of it are contributed by me, but the concept is theirs - Gautham's, to be precise - especially the road runner parallel. The little one is totally a ham.
I've given them a Sony handycam for the summer vacation (which start on the 10th of April). Hoping they raise the family standards of lunacy.

Cheers! And btw, they are thrilled to know that the world is watching them!

Drenched said...

Hahahaha, I love the Road Runner parallel! And the best thing is that it actually makes sense.
A great pat on the back to the bright hopes of the country. :D
The doofuses, er, I mean, the doofii would like further enlightenment.

Drenched said...

Why isn't the dumb blogger showing my pic? :O
*drenched horrified*

Empress of Blandings said...

*grin* Love the "Is it 'qua' , Jeeves?" :)

Maddy said...

that was a great job by the interviewer & interviewee..quite enjoyed the parallel..thinking about it makes me wonder at the wisdom of it all..soon we will see them on CNN-IBN or CNBC i guess...

Ok said...

Hahahaha.. Excellent! Shenoy juniors have inherited their pa's funny bone:).

Err... I just asked my dad to buy some reliance energy stocks with the little money I have. My plan was that it will triple and I can go to Europe during the summers.

-Ok

Coconut Chutney said...

ROFL!
This post is funnier than reading baout the doofii who blew all their money on reliance power.

:D

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

LOL, really funny, Mr. "Javed Akhtar" Shenoy. Kudos to kiddos too. :D

You should make this a regular feature on your blog - call it "The Shenoy Family Happy Hour", sponsored by Reliance Mobile. :p

Cynic in Wonderland said...

..i really have a crush on your younger son. a) makes the most money sense ive heard in YEARS b)suffers from hormonal imbalance and ADMITS to it c) looks quite dashing in the video.

CW said...

You must be proud for passing your legacy..your sons made me laugh as much as you did! I second BPSK..you ought to let them take the reins of a weekly (daily would be even better!)blog feature.

narendra shenoy said...

Hi. I just wanted to thank all of you on behalf of the brats who are thrilled to heaven by all the positive feedback. They are already planning the next attack on our sensibilities.

@drenched - The bright hopes thank you for the pat

@empress - Just love Wodehouse!

@maddy - I though it was a nice little bit of lateral thinking from the young 'un. He knows a good deal about the stock market thanks to my mother, who is an avid investor. I just jazzed it up a little.

@ok - I only know this about the market. As long as there is a greater fool than you, you're safe. And as you doubtless know, Shenoy's first law of foolishness states that no matter how foolish you are, Narendra Shenoy will always be more foolish than you.

@coconut - I lost not only my shirt but my camisole and nylon stockings too, on the said IPO.

@bpsk - The lads have every intention of going into show biz. Their mom is a little concerned about their ability to pass exams

@cynic - He is a total ham, I tell you. Worse than Smriti Irani.

@cw - as I said, they've already taken over the blog (they figured out the password, which like a doofus I store in a txt file called "Passwords.txt" on the desktop. I know. Duh. And I dare not change it because I don't have enough brain cells to remember a new one.)

doamna said...

This was WAY too funny!!

RAJI MUTHUKRISHNAN said...

These kids are too good - they have got it down to a pat, the way interviews are conducted! Well done.

Lakshmi Bharadwaj said...

Ooh..Shenoy juniors! Sorry about 'oohing'. But, since I do not know them, they sure look sweet. :)

narendra shenoy said...

doamna - thanks!

raji - They've been attending a speech and drama course. Maybe that helps

lakshmi - Thanks! They can be cute but then they can be quite mischievous when they feel like it.

Radhika Sharma said...

Radhika Sharma-

You guys have written an excellent script.In my point of view the road runner joke was the best.