Friday, April 18, 2008

Naren gets married - #4 A small intimate ceremony

Our courtship, truth be told, proceeded like the US-North Korea talks, me being North Korea. The US, in the form of Sheela, kept egging me to bring about broad based reforms in a wide range of areas such as table manners, dress sense, topics of conversation, getting rid of a Mickey Mouse watch that had been my constant companion through college, and ensuring that both socks came from the same pair. And like Kim jong-il, I kept insisting that my internal affairs were no concern of foreign imperialist powers but unlike the US, Sheela was extremely difficult to bullshit. She made me stop my delightful practice of eating with my mouth open, which was musically most interesting but did not pass the muster with Madam Good Manners.

Thus, it was clear that I was going to be dominated like a serf or indentured laborer. However, in view of the fact that my oppressor had the most beautiful eyes the color of emerald, and of course a crisp left hook, I shelved all thoughts of mutiny and focused on compliance.

I had one request, though. I wanted the quietest possible wedding. Something in the nature of mom, dad, spouse and ring in the presence of the marriage registrar. "Of course," Sheela's dad had said. "Absolutely no pomp and circumstance. We're planning to have just the bare traditional affair".

Unbeknownst to me, my parents marshaled an army of 80 assorted relatives to form the infantry and assembled them at the railway station. "Awful lot of people to see me off", I remarked to the mater. "That is our Baraat, my son", she said and a sinking feeling told me I had been double-crossed. Our train journey to Bangalore (en route to Mysore) from Bombay lasted 24 hours and for every minute of those I was ribbed by miscellaneous relatives who thought they were as hilarious as Conan O'Brien when they told me "Ready for marriage, ah? Ready? Ready?" with a big grin. Some varied the script a bit with "Prepared for marriage ah? Prepared? Prepared?" and fully expected me to blush prettily. I've never felt more like a moron (unless you count the time my grandmom pinched my cheeks and asked my mother if I still wet my bed. I was in the third year of my engineering then).

I'm taking the brood out to Bandra, the Rodeo Drive of Mumbai. Update when I get back. And if.

14 comments:

rads said...

small intimate ceremony indeed! :--D

Anonymous said...

ROTFL, at the Nortk Korea bit:).

Did you really have a mickey mouse watch?

-Ok

TV de Plasma said...

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Maddy said...

hey what - you were in 3rd yr engg when u got married!!no job and all?man..I think what folows could get interesting indeed...

Maddy said...

my mistake - that was when your grandma pinched your cheeks..

narendra shenoy said...

Dear TV de Plasma
Thank you for finding my blog interesting. I would love to possibly give a last on your blog which is about the TV de Plasma. Also, thank you for hugging me. Now, where do I collect my TV de plasma?

narendra shenoy said...

@rads - I have yet to write about the ceremony which was anything but small and intimate

@ok - That Mickey watch was the pride of my wardrobe, brought for me by my parents on their maiden visit to the US in 1985. It still works (China had not been invented back then) and is currently with my niece.

OK said...

ROTFL, at 'thanks for hugging me'. You are back in one piece right? Where is P.5?

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

so you really thought you were going to get away with your request for a "bare traditional affair", eh? For someone who seems to have always known his place in the world, you seem to have had some pretty big delusions that heretical ideas such as a "small wedding" would be accepted. :D

Looking forward to the next two posts, on the 1000-people wedding, and the 2000-people reception.

gradwolf said...

they redefined "dhoom dhaam" for you. heh!

Drenched said...

ROFL @ N Korea and the US bit. But...you were an innocent North Korea, right? No nuclear weapons and no tiny little yellow faced chinkies squealing to blast the hell out of the whole world. :P

And TV de Plasma hugs! Naren, the babe killer is now attracting plasma TVs! Hahahahahahaha!

wickedtaurus said...

too late for the party but more often after-parties are better :D Anniversary Wishes!

loved the entire ngm series!:)

rofl @ "...but unlike the US, Sheela was extremely difficult to bullshit"

Cynic in Wonderland said...

there is a fundamental mismtach between what is small and intimate for some and others i have realized.. one colleague got 8000 people to her reception and thouoght it was cosy. i wanted to ask her whether she had it at a football stadium.

links http://solitarycynic.rediffblogs.com/2005_09_10_solitarycynic_archive.html

http://solitarycynic.rediffblogs.com/2005_20_11_solitarycynic_archive.html

( have i been blogging for too long?)

Cynic in Wonderland said...
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