Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Little Known Facts #2 - The US Olympic Relay Team and Hu Jintao

In an interesting revelation, Judge Charles Carter Lee, Chef de Mission of the US Olymic contingent to Beijing, told reporters that Hu Jintao, Paramount Leader of The Peoples Republic of China, the country best known for its intellectual freedom and supply of finely crafted products to Messrs. WalMart of Arkansas, can speak fluently in the colloquial "English" spoken in the United States.

Hu, a keen follower of American Sport, especially Track and Field, asked to be briefed regarding the US delegation to Beijing, concerned that simmering discontent over his country's sensitive and democratic handling of Tibet might affect participation in the Olympic Games.

Judge Lee, who speaks Mandarin Chinese fluently, went to the Great Hall Of The People Who Did Not Perish Under Chairman Mao to meet Hu. After the usual diplomatic preliminaries, ("The United States of America respects the Territorial Integrity of China and recognizes its inalienable right over Taiwan, Tibet, Xinjiang, South Korea, The Japanese Kuriles and eastern Alaska. Oops, and Great Britain and Northern Ireland") Hu asked about the sprinters, and requested Judge Lee to speak in "English", though he himself replied in Chinese.

Judge Lee confessed that while the US sprinters were still among the greatest in the world, they were being outclassed by the Jamaicans, especially a young lad named Bolt. Even in the 4x100 relay, things were far from certain.

"The team composition is a bit weakened." Lee said. "The men are running without Dix"

A rattled Hu is reported to have told Lee "You've gotta be shittin me!"

14 comments:

rambodoc said...

Hilarious!
This is a lo, mein attempt to chop China's reputation!

chutneycase said...

You are awesome. =D

Nandini Vishwanath said...

LMAO @ dix :D

maxdavinci said...

Carter, Lee and Jintao were incedentally the names of the guys in the movie Rush hour!

brilliant!

sthitapragnya said...

Brilliant! Brilliant, I say! Looking forward to more of the 'Little known facts'.

Preeti said...

Yawn.

Double Yawn.

Im gettin bored of comin here, laughin my ass out n goin...

Smethin new now Uncle S! ;) :D

LOLOLOL@ Rambodoc!

adi said...

ROFL! To borrow a popular tamil local slang, do you book a hotel room and think of such stuff? (I think the jest is lost in translation :|)

Idling in Top Gear said...

Makes for lower wind resistance?

Cynic in Wonderland said...

ahem.

atul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wicked :D said...

Hmmm.. I din't follow this one at all.

atul said...

You, as always, are awesome!

ROTFL at idling in top gear!

Kartik said...

ROTFL @ Dix

Maddy said...

i guess he got a solid coaching on the colloquial style from yao ming of the rockets - so that it could be practiced on bush baba at the opening..