Saturday, September 13, 2008

Rock music - Its part in my downfall

We saw the movie "Rock On" last night. Not the royal "we" as in "we wish to we we" (Queen Victoria to the Keeper of the Royal Chamberpot, 1885) but the "we" as in "we, the missus and I", two jisams but one opinion (the missus's).

But I digress. The movie was nice. Not a classic or anything, though the Times of India critic gave it such a great review that I suspect he wet his pants during the process of writing it. In fact, we (still not the royal "we") watched the movie "A Wednesday" the night before which we (now the royal "we") thought it ("A Wednesday", that is) was the greatest movie we had ever watched in any language including Kannada, Telugu and Malayalam.

What made "Rock On" a good movie for us (the royal "us") was, and this is heresy in Bollywood, that it happens to have a story line and the songs are completely relevant to the story. I know what you're thinking. You are thinking hai ram what is the world coming to and that this is the thin end of the wedge. You echo our (the royal "our") sentiments. But again I digress. Sometimes I get the feeling that I write simply to fill up the page.

Anyway, my point was that the music left me limp. The lads, on the other hand were grooving away to the numbers, imaginary guitar and mike alternately in hand and moving the pelvis in what one strongly suspects is the mating ritual of the orang utan. I thought oh my god, what rot this rock music is. Only sthaayi, no antara. And only one taal, eight beats. And the "virtuoso" guitaring was so elementary any eight year old sitar player would have done it in his sleep. I told this to my sons. They looked at me like I was a minor Biblical prophet and they a couple of Philistines. "Annie!" the elder one reprimanded me. (A foot note is in order here. For obscure reasons, the boys call me "Annie", much to my mortification, and no inducement will make them do otherwise. Add to this the fact that for some obscure reason Victoria's Secret has got it into its head that I am a major potential customer and keep mailing me all the details of its latest designs, strangers rather tend to draw away from me sharply, their worst suspicions having been aroused).

And thus my rock music appreciation classes have started. Today I was initiated into the celestial music of a band named Linkin Park who seem to make most of their music by clanging steel utensils in a close space. My tympani are close to handing in their dinner pail. I plan to slip in a bade ghulam cd into the player at night, but the sentries are too watchful.

Watch this space. Dementia is imminent.

19 comments:

rads said...

LOL! Dementia imminent?
Only a mad man can write so lucidly :)

Rukmani Ram said...

Annie?? Couldn't you have just told them Victoria's secret spelled the missus' name wrong? :P

Lakshmi Bharadwaj said...

rock on then, annie!! :-)

chutneycase said...

Annie! :D And you forgot the part about linkin park where the lead singer starts screaming like his pants are on fire.

rambodoc said...

Haha! PG used to say that apart from the Pope and the Queen, the only people who use 'we' when referring to themselves in the first person singular are 'patients with tapeworms in their stomach'.

narendra shenoy said...

@rads - Thanks! Though true lucidity, they say, comes from the momemtum one's speech recieves when it is de-coupled from one's mind.

@Rukmani - They're not listening to me. They are just focussed on selling me the classic bikini panties in 14 exciting colors

@lakshmi - Thanks! I'm trying to learn how to rock. There are some rules, apparently. Like your hair needs to be funny. And you should be able to do Rhesus Macaque moves on stage while singing. Tough call.

@chutney - Yes. You are most observant. Are you a linkin park fan too? There is one danger for this guy though. When someone (me, perhaps) actually sets his pants on fire and he runs out screaming for help, people will be asking him for autographs instead of calling the fire brigade. Maybe he can come out with a new album. Hot Cross Buns or something. Ha Ha Ha.

@doc - :D

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

Linkin park??? Ask the boys to watch the Led Zep and learn what real rock is. Hmmph....

And of course you get Victoria's Secret for their articles... (the As, Bs, Cs - oh, who am I kidding, it's mostly the Cs).

Wicked :D said...

I liked the movie. And my dad liked it too:D.

I dont remeber but there was a rock band in which the lead singer's focus was on grossing you out with his antics. It was very popular in IIT. You should check with your kids. I am sure they might have seen it.

Prats said...

So "annie" ??!!!! You just maybe need to start listening to Linking park with a plug in your ears....you'll learn to do it soon...not to worry...I have done that.
All the folders in my system are filled with linking park...and I can't even change tracks....

So you think I should stay at home and avoid the curly haired rock group???

Shilpa said...

Annie!! :)

Reminds me of the time we (not the royal we, just sis & I) started calling my dad 'Archie'.

Donno how we caught on to the word. We were just 5 and 7 years old and weren't reading Archie comics then.

Donno y we were calling him that either. but it had something to do with his hair. We'd always ruffle his hair after calling him 'Archie'.

Must say he quite enjoyed it.

Now we have sophisticated nick names for him that sound more like toungue twisters that originated from the word 'dad'

sthitapragnya said...

Dementia isn't imminent, it's omnipresent in this space! :P & ROFL @ "Annie". Pray, clear the air and shed the obscurity and enlighten us as to why your beloved sons call you that, Annie! Extra ROFL @ "Victoria's Secret" - Is it a consequence of their assumption or your subscription? :P Aah! The Sly Shenoy! Now let the cat out of the bag, Annie! :D

@ rambodoc: Excellent! LMAO!!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

you are getting victoria secret catalogue and you are complaining ..why?

Deepti said...

mr.shenoy, will it be rude of me asking " exactly what are u? "
for a human cannot have this amount of humour in their bodies!!
wonderful!!!!

thunderskies said...

After havin fallen off my chair laughing so many times, i jst have to delurk.
*hot cross bun*-- lols
n rambodoc: ewwww for the tapeworms coz i hv actually seen a woman throw up tapeworms. (yea..now u go EWWW too :D)

n can i blogroll u, saar ?

narendra shenoy said...

@bpsk: I remember listening to led zep. I was younger, more pimpled and less sober. Didn't like it even then. As my room mate told me "Man, you're born with OLD genes" (upon learning that Indian classical music turned me on)

@wicked: The lads are very uptodate with anything gross. I'll ask them :)

@prats - No, it's worth a watch. Only, if you're in the earplug category, the music is going to sound like a parliamentary debate.


@shilpa - Actually, I quite like "Annie". I remember protesting initially - the whole thing was an insidious plot by their mom - but the more I protested, the more it stuck. It still gets a few giggles, but most of my immediate circle have stopped rolling on the floor with laughter like they used to earlier


@sthita - :P Achilles heel. Long story, but basically an Anglicization of "anna", the Konkani word for father. Victoria's Secret is an even longer story. And given my extremely rudimentary grasp of computer confidentiality, everyone in my work place knows I'm on their mailing list. In fact, I strongly suspect they call me Vicky behind my back


@cynic- complaining because victoria's secret is only superficial coverage while we intrepid journalists are really interested in the underlying issue.

@deepti - Thanks! You are most kind! And exactly my elder son's age. What do you call YOUR dad?

@thunderskies - Thanks! Please do blogroll me. Actually that is like asking "May I give you a gift?" Of course you may. You have our permission:)

Maddy said...

heard it is a great movie, will watch it this week end!!

Amrita said...

Oooh, you shouldn't have let that cat out of the bag - coz now I'm gonna call you Annie all over the internet.

Okay, no I won't - but only if you admit farhan Akhtar was the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Maddy said...

i saw the movie last saturday and liked it. what you forgot was that in addition to being all what you said, you also need a voice that is tending to go hoarse and one that can go to unreasonable pitches.. plus you must know how to hold & throw a guitar and the mike,

indiegurl said...

1. Linkin Park is not rock. It is pop of indifferent quality that tries to pass off as rock. Rock is Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters.

2. You have an effin amazing blog.

3. You have an effin amazing blog. :-)