Tuesday, September 23, 2008

When banks won't lend to banks

This entire business of sub-prime mortgages is sad. Many touching images have emerged.

That of the investment banker having to let the second S-class go because his stock options are no longer valuable enough to pay for both the sea-front condo and the Merc.

The real-estate developer having to hock his Rolex collection to pay the installments on his Learjet.

The finance whiz Wharton MBA having to stand in line for the economy class check-in to Ibiza.

But none so poignant as the recent news story that banks were refusing to lend money to other banks in the US. I brushed the tear from my eye. Let them call me unmanly, but I have a heart.

I could just picture JP Morgan shuffling across to BankAm and sidling up in an ingratiating manner, asking if he could borrow a billion or two for the weekend - returnable as soon as dad's cheque arrives on Monday morning.

BankAm, I could just imagine stiffening ever so slightly and telling JP in a patently fake manner that he would have loved to do just that but mom's insulin has been eating up all the family spare cash. He'd let JP know, BankAm would promise, but don't call me, I'll call you.

And JP would shuffle off, shoulders drooping, wandering hopelessly into the sunset.

If that doesn't make you cry, I don't think anything will.

23 comments:

Wicked :D said...

And the cascading effect of all these banks not lending to other banks is that I can't find an internship as a quant!

Uncle do something. Please.

chutney said...

Oh, the horror, the pain! Isn't there any humanity in this world? As a major move against the forthcoming crisis, mr.mallya too has began budgeting, starting with airhostess uniforms.

Idling in Top Gear said...

LOL. Reminds me of an episode of South Park on music piracy.

"That is Britney Spears' personal jet. Notice something, it's a Gulfstream III. She wanted a Gulfstream V, but can't afford it because you steal her music."

Suresh said...

People do not have money to buy a very small 5600 SFT, 5 bed room single family home. This truely is the greatest crisis for mankind. :-).

maxdavinci said...

If ektaji made a series on the crisis, what would the titles be?

1) Kahani bank bank kior
2) kahin toh hoga i-banker!
3) Bank mein nikala hoga I-banker
4) Kyunki Lehman bhi kabhi Goldman tha

could you add more sirjee?

sthitapragnya said...

May the laard aaf money-lenders be with you! What times!

sawan said...

how could someone put the financial turmoil in much simpler words :-)

sawan said...

maxdavinci - iluved the fourth one! :-) feel sorry for the ex-employees..

narendra shenoy said...

@wicked: Come back, son, and join the IPL

@chutney: Hahaha! Let's hope the cutbacks are significant.

@idling: :)

@suresh: And the indoor pool. What IS the world coming to?

@max - Hahahahah! That list is pretty comprehensive. And you should copyright #4 so that you can mulct Ektamaata for substantial damages when she finally comes out with a serial named just that. Some thoughts:
Bum Log (about I-bankers having to live out of a refrigerator carton)
Koi to Lega (i-bankers shuffling from firm to firm looking for employment

@sthita - Thanks! :) at Laard of the... Missus used to call me Lard of the Rings because of my fondness for the trilogy and my resemblance, then, to a tub of lard. Now that I've lost weight and otherwise added to my allure, including a chest better than John Abraham (see earlier post), that sobriquet has lost currency.

@sawan - Thanks!

Anish said...

Are you a Wodehouse fan? Felt like i was readin a Wodehouse :-B

Rukmani Ram said...

it didnt make me cry. it made me laugh myself into stitches

Vanilla Vats said...

Umm.. You've been kablooifyed by me. Go see what I've done to you, Mr. Shenoy.

Clicksy here please :D

vanilla vats said...

oh-oh. that link is messed up. I think this works better : http://moourl.com/9e7kh

:D pweese see it.

Pooja said...

Very nice!

Since the past week, it feels like one has wandered into an Abbas-Mastaan film - just as you think you've figured out the murky moves of the banks, turns out ki kahani mein twist hai....

Sowmya said...

What a lovely blog! I have already recommended it to my friends....

Most of your posts are LMAO - wow! how do you write such stuff! Great - I am so happy to be here.

Sowmya Srikrishnan said...

What a lovely blog! I have already recommended it to my friends....

Most of your posts are LMAO - wow! how do you write such stuff! Great - I am so happy to be here.

Sowmya Srikrishnan said...

sorry about the repeat - I entered details in a wrong row!

narendra shenoy said...

@anish - Thanks! That was EXTREMELY flattering!

@rukmani - Thanks!

@vats - Loved it!

@pooja -Thanks!

@sowmya - Thanks!

rambodoc said...

Super post, dude!

crumbs said...

:D I'm sure JP Morgan, the Rolex less real estate agent and the sunset are glad that someone recognizes their plight!

Anonymous said...

Sigsbee, you are my hero.

Arun Sundar said...

Lol!!

How do we know said...

Ha ha!!!