Monday, August 31, 2009

More on the knee

As i was saying in my previous post, I have been diagnosed with osteo-arthritis. The good doctor prescribed me some tablets and a "Bio-protein pure collagen blah blah" drink which sounded so phony that I had to open the pamphlet and read. The first line was "Osteo-arthritis is a disease that affects the elderly". I ask you. A man in his prime. Eyed by many, including Mrs. Bacchan the younger (I'm not joking. I saw her at a party once and she looked at me. Over the heads of 70 other people, she looked at ME! The raw desire in her eyes was unmistakable, but since I am spoken for, I responded not). I am NOT elderly. You know who's elderly, A. K. Hangal, that's elderly. And L. K. Advani.

Ok,  enough ranting. Actually, the missus has been very sweet. She keeps fussing over me and asks me every fifteen minutes if my knee is hurting. It is not, actually, but I grimace slightly every time I stand up, conveying the impression that I'm being extremely courageous and manly, concealing my pain like that. I know. I'm a rat.

The kids have been really nice too. Vyaas, the elder one asked me if I would ever be able to walk again, while Gautham offered to buy me a walking stick from his pocket money, provided he has any left over after buying the Eminem Relapse CD.

Well, that's about it from me. The missus is very serious about not letting me drink a single drop of alcohol which term, unless repugnant to the context thereof, shall be deemed to mean beer, wine, whiskey, vodka, gin, brandy, rum (black and white), the triple distilled horse urine they call bourbon, tequila and beverages containing all or part of the ingredients aforementioned.



maxdavinci said...

hangal saab ko buddha bola, how dare you!

he was in sholay and nvr looked a day older in lagaan 25yrs later!

Rumor is that he had perfected the art of reverse metamorphism that is known only to the great shahid afridi who still is 17!

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

Not being allowed to drink?! Adding insult to injury.

Btw, I used to have the same opinion of bourbon, but now that I have tasted some good ones, feel differently.

Bea Walker said...

Many sympathies for the pain - how could someone malign your sylph like figure - and yes I remember the running outfit picture - no wonder TMBWITW looked at YOU :) alcohol of any color - not even those pretty, colorful ones with the umbrellas??!....sigh, life is hard - aging and no alcohol to dull the pain??!!....death, where is thy sting...ooops, wrong thing to say - i will imbibe some more of the drink in my hand and ponder on it....hic....

Vikas said...

Ok, so Schnapps are safe. :)

Juggler said...

How about jello shots, the innocent looking, colorful killer?

Not to rub salt to the wound, my profile pic has an EXTRA STRONG screwdriver, a popular cost cutting measure at Wharton parties :-)

Coconut Chutney said...

Many sympathies, and LOL at the reactions in your family. You guys are four of a kind :D

Siddharth said...

Mrs. B, the younger .....LOL!

...which term, unless repugnant to the context thereof, shall be deemed to mean ....

working from home Narenji?!!!

Gradwolf said...

everything is for the good :p

ruSh.Me said...

Does you alcohol list contain the popular "fajji" drinks (Pope, Kepsi, Tums-up)??

Stay away from them, and you shall walk, hereinafter!!

mentalie said...

i suggest you take a tip from sir galahad - the only man to understand the finer points of retaining the ruddy good health of youth according to p.g.wodehouse. abstain by all means from the vile potion your doctor (obviously a sadist) has prescribed. furthermore, protect thy lady from the evil medicine man. he clearly has a terrible influence on her.
and lastly, a man who mentions eminem albums as breezily as you cannot possibly be classified as elderly. i wouldn't worry!

narendra shenoy said...

@max :) True. The guy hasn't aged a day!

@BPSK - Acutally, I had Jack Daniels last week (with coke!) and it was quite nice (in the sense that I got sloshed). Still what whiskey is a whiskey which needs coke to bring out its flavor

@bea walker - Hahaha! Touche.

@Vikas - Thanks for the invaluable technical point. Schnapps. Absinthe too! Maybe there is still hope..

@juggler - Jello shots are new to me. Must find out more, in the interests of furthering the cause of science. I'm impressed with the extra strong screwdriver concept. No wonder Wharton graduates are at the top of the financial world!

@Chutney - The lads have been displaying singular lack of sympathy.:(

@siddharth - I've been going all over the place. Just trying to avoid driving. I am using the great autorickshaw network of Mumbai, which is doing wonders for my adrenaline levels.

@Gradwolf: Hmmph! We shall overcome! - I agree with y0ou. The main unhealthy ingredient in a drink is the soda pop.;)

@mentalie - Thanks! And a Wodehouse fan! High five!

Anonymous said...

Hope you lose that weight super-quick!
my sympathies!


sapana said...

Hope you are feeling better now..Take care!

I too have put on some weight.. 2 kgs to be precise. Just wanted to know how do you manage to not give in to the temptation? I made my favourite-besan ke laddoo a few days ago(totally an experiment) and hubby dearest didn't like them so i ended up eating all(11 pieces) in like 4 days!

Please share those self control tips.

Pitu said...

Dude, milk it as along you can! And A K Hangal is so ancient, he belongs in a museum. Poor thing was born old, kya karein!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

words are not enuf. so please accept my sincere, speechless, sympathy.

off damned weight

Amrita said...

So, you're not elderly. But are you a woman?