Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Living dangerously

It's a man thing, living dangerously is. Confronting death. Looking it in the eye, unfazed. Not flinching at the prospect.

Different people do it differently.

One J. Bond of London, England, for instance, likes to get his kicks by driving cars off cliffs and shooting people for one reason or another, and getting shot at in return. Spectacular, but too loud for my taste.

Middle aged MBAs, especially those of us from the more reputed institutes, prefer subtlety over pomp. Thus, my old mate Shrinath and I went on Tuesday afternoon to Highway Gomantak Restaurant in Bandra East, Mumbai and decimated some 17000 Kcalories each by way of fried fish. The waiters had realised the moment we started ordering that here was a duo not to be messed with. No one dared question us, or suggest a serving of lettuce and broccoli salad in lieu of the Jumbo Surmai Fried. The question might have trembled on some lips but the glint in our eyes made them avert their gaze and run for cover.

And flirting with death it definitely was. My triglycerides are discussed with bated breath at the monthly meetings of the Royal College of Physicians. And Shrinath's blood pressure has been the topic of more PhD theses than any human ailment including Bo Derek's Herpes.

But we thought nothing of it, nothing at all. And in a sterling example of how the tough never carry their tensions home, we both went home to our respective spouses and told them we were lunching on salads and soup.

I'm not crowing or bragging here, just trying to set an example to the young folk out there, a few of whom might have mistakenly logged on to this page. Fear nothing. That's all I'm telling you. Fear nothing.


Coconut Chutney said...

I am totally inspired. Will attack any and every cholesterol filled junk food chain with a new kind of vengeance now :D

buddy said...

no fear. only desi ghee.

Arun Sundar said...

I have a friend who is about 250 pounds. His doctor said what he has inside is not a heart, but a time bomb thats ticking. Yet, one has to see the way he eats 'Chilli Bajji'. He would effortlessly hog them down as if thats what he desperately needs in life.

Indeed there are men who dare death.

maxdavinci said...

advice taken, nachos and cheese it is for dinner!

Gradwolf said...

one life to live them all!

Mohan said...

As the legendary "Stone Cold" would say...

F**k Fear, Drink Beer
- Austin 3:16

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Shenoy Saar, we are not worthy.
Sod off, Daniel Craig, we have a new idol.


Anonymous said...

Going by the way I hog on sugar and everything made of it, and also considering the fact that diabetes is a legacy my ancestors have left me, my clairvoyant friends and others have prophesied that I shall be a diabetic by the time I get married in a couple of years. I am therefore on a hunt for someone who can take me now, lest I shouldn't find any when I come of age! If there's anyone you know, do let me know! Thank you!
And 17000 cals in one meal? Neeaaatt!! :)

Sneha Puttu said...

i admire your courage! :P
chanced upon your it! :)

Devil Incarnate said...

ur advice will b takin, next time i c "chichekn " :)

Cynic in Wonderland said...

Completely living on the edge. and doubly dangerous - not only the cholesterol but also, braving potentially irate wives!

Ram said...

Oh! I know how you feel. You have achieved something and you want to brag about it.

You first try it at home. Lady Shenoy gives you a nice clout on the head. Masters Shenoy (or, should it be Master Shenoys) make fun of your tummy.

So you think you would do it in your blog. You guessed right! I will recommend the Red and White Bravery award, the next time I see Mannu (P.M. of India).

narendra shenoy said...

@chutney - Wear coolers and a slicked back hairdo. Very popular in the spy trade these days. BTW, your site is either refusing to accept comments from me or behaving very coyly with all and sundry. I wanted to exult over that great pun-filled post.

@buddy - :)

@arun - Sheela will kill me much before I reach 250 pounds :)

@max - don't forget the coke

@grad - as jeeves would have said, Rem acu tetigisti

@Mohan - :D would make a good escutcheon motto

@JAP - Thank you sir! Come the revolution and you shall be the first to have a cigar in your mouth, blond on your arm and a black limousine.

@sthitha - :D Such wisdom! I shall forward all candidates, regardless of age or sex.

@sneha - Thanks!

@devil - You wont regret it!

@cynic - The missus does resemble a hurricane off the coast of Florida when she discovers me consuming the starches.

narendra shenoy said...

@ram - Hahaha! Thanks, and tell Mannu to give me a tax holiday too (food is SO expensive!)

rads said...

LOL. This is all I need and the basket of chocolates on my desk :D

Nikhil Narayanan said...

This is what they call pearls of wisdom


Anonymous said...

So, if I may surmairise this post, the bass tacks so to speak, you had a fat chance of dying. Rather, of getting torn in pisces.

Anonymous said...

So, if I may surmairise this post, the bass tacks so to speak, you had a fat chance of dying. Rather, of getting torn in pisces.