Square meals these days are quite unusual for me. I am following what is known as the Zone Diet, in which one gets all ones carbohydrates from fruits and vegetables, and proteins from soya granules. And taste from memory. Every once in a while I am allowed to look at pictures of food. Yesterday I saw a full page photograph of Pasta in White Sauce, as I was eating the broccoli.
And today, we went for a nice traditional Satyanarayana Pooja and a traditional banana leaf meal thereafter. Actually, the only thing I COULD have eaten was the banana leaf itself. Everything else was high glycaemic load carbohydrates. But religion is religion. I pigged out on the goodies, and I'm wallowing in guilt at the time of writing this.
A very close friend, similarly situated in terms of triglycerides yet unable to bring himself to follow such diets asked me how I manage to do it. Here I must resort to aphorisms and mystic couplets like the old masters in the upanishads who had to answer all those questions like "who am I" and weren't allowed snappy answers like "you are someone who could use deodorant". The master here is the missus. I am the faithful disciple.
Said the disciple
O all-knowing one, what will befall
One who fails to follow this diet and all
Said the all-knowing one
Know that if you disobey me, you can give up all hopes
That your love life will be any better than the pope's
And moreover if I see any back-chat or sass
Concerning this diet, I might just kick your ass.
My concern for my toenails my demeanour does soften
Or else I would have kicked your butt far more often
For the next time I see you with fries or a sweet
You had better leg it out of here because you're meat