Monday, December 1, 2008

This Government has been De-Patilled for your safety

This Government has been De-patilled for your safety. On careful review and reflection, the Powers That Be have determined that the main reason for the horrific incidents of 26th November and the 60 hours that followed, have been several Patils.

Two of these, Shivraj (according to an intrepid investigative journalist, a mole for a Large Foreign Organization named Brylcreem) and R.R. (the nemesis of a major evil in this world, bar girls) have been unceremoniously asked to go by the Powers That Be, while the third, Pratibha, has been spared owing to the fact that as President, she has no decision making powers other than buying curtains for the Rashtrapati Bhavan.

The Powers That Be have determined that now that the government has been De-patilled for your safety, life can go on as before. It is not necessary to upset established administrative procedure by implementing the many hare-brained suggestions coming out of the irresponsible blogosphere, such as making the police more independent, or upgrading their armory, their salaries and their accountability. The Powers That Be have better things to do with their time.

In other news, Barkha Dutt is being nominated for the Pulitzer Prize for coining the phrase "India's 9/11".

16 comments:

sandeip said...

wouldnt it be fitting instead to give barkha the pulitzer for breaking the "good journalism exists on TV" myth?

narendra shenoy said...

@sandeip - That would be a good category for Madame Dutt.

Susa said...

Barkha Dutt must surely have violated a principle or ten of the Geneva Convention during her interrogation of survivors and victims' kin. But maybe we can still put this skill to good use by letting her loose on captured terrorists. They're sure to sing that way..

Vin said...

Mr. Shenoy,
yes, v r indeed safe now, Thank heavens for that!!
i wonder where the remaining 'kids' of the 'recent batch' are loitering with their toys (read guns,bombs), considering that only 10 were found...surely, a batch would consist of minimum 25 students, right?

maxdavinci said...

I think she did a fab job if instilling fear. I got up twice to check if my house was bolted properly, and that too sitting in the US!

Everytime there was an explosion, she would emote and make you feel that it happened in your kitchen! Kudos to the lady, I see ramsay bothers lining up with a string of offers.

'reporter hasina', 'journo bani chudail', or maybe 'mic ka chumma'

Vivek said...

The Prez gets to choose Curtains??!!
Hold the presses!
Lets hope someone actually learned a lesson here. :(
Ha ha ha India's 9/11 was the cheeziest line I ever heard!
Thankfully its over.

chutney said...

Barkha Dutt is such a drama queen! Also, her endless quest for emotion in news leaves the rest of us gasping for breath. I mean lady, the poor dude just lost his wife, i think its pretty clear as to "how he feels" at that moment.

I agree with Susa up there. Let her loose on the terrorists and make her use her very subtle interrogation skills until they start weeping.

"How do you feel about that, Mr. Terrorist? How do you feel? You should be feeling ashamed of attacking Mumbai, and trying to conquer the spirit of the Mumbaikar but tell me, how do you feel?"

AARGH!

thunderskies said...

wat was she doing when God was distributing COMMON SENSE ?
Maybe she was interviewing Ekta kapoor on how to sensationalise a situation and people's emotions.

Ram said...

I havent really seen Burkha Dutt for quite a while now. I thought she was good. I guess things have changed.

Is Rajdeep Sardesai still good?

rambodoc said...

Great post, and great comments, too!
It is heard that the crasser sections of the populace, which reportedly account for ALL the voters who do not read this blog, want certain politicians to be Depatilled even more. In other words, Dpetalled and Deflowered. Not by Ms. Dutt (surely she deserves better), but by 72 male virgins here, on Planet Hell!

Preeti said...

LOL@ the post AND chutney's 'quest for emotion' quip...i mean, seriously! The guy just lost his wife and she was really really bent upon gettin him to cry atleast once to prove a point...And when there was a break in the line for a sec, she couldnt help but interject 'well, i think he's just having an emotional moment and cannot continue right now'...but did she stop? NO!

She's a good reporter - no doubt, but i think she's taken it upon her shoulders to be the only corrspondent for mumbai, the government, the terrorists, the NSG, the police, rest of india etc etc...i wouldn't be surprised if she was givin out her visitin card "wanna be on the news? call me ;)"

hammy said...

Hmmm... I guess the de-Patilification process has been long overdue. A Patil curtailed, of course, is the first step; but it shouldn't stop there.

There are a lot of political elements that we should wrap in our national flag and mail to Pakistan.

Escape.... Great Escape said...

Those 4 days, the only wish I had was that TV ceases to exist. But after this, atleast there would be fewer lay-offs in news and media... (Ma Foi anticipated around 53% lay-offs in that sector)

Anonymous said...

where the fridge is that old hag pratibbs... the one useful thing she could have done is made a public grievance message... that she couldn't do, cos she is busy touring some countries, no one cares about....

its long been proven that she lacks the charisma that kalam had, but that she could be as useless as this is showing her amount of in differential existence to this planet....

shows how sonia plays her cards right and put mere pawns as presidents and prime ministers and home ministers... be ready for rahul or priyanka or some one more useless to lead this country

Anonymous said...

p.s. barkha dutt , just becos u can have a billion people stare at you, stop going so close to the camera, you are scary

Cynic in Wonderland said...

oh prathibha aunty had jaunted off to indonesia on thursday ( 27th) to facilitate and encourage peace amongst the commonwealth youth. she jaunted off AFTER. while commonwealth youth was either killing or being anhilated in her backyard. wonder whether she noticed the slight irony.

Vilasrao uncle is battling for the chair in the meantime and making a complete ass of himself.

barkha dutt likes to hear herself speak.shrilly.