Friday, February 27, 2009

A day in the life of a married man

Life as a married man is seldom simple. I just happened to tell her that I wouldn't be home for dinner as I was dining with friends at X restaurant. She remembered that it was close to Y shopping mall where we had bought that fancy bracelet.

And then, I swear she told me "Get three of those fancy bracelets and Karen's pants."

It took a little while before it sank in.

  1. Who was Karen?
  2. Why did my wife want her pants?
  3. And why the hell would Karen part with her pants anyway?
I rang her up and asked her these very pertinent questions.

"Naren, you are a lucky man"

"Huh? Why?"

"Because you are not in the same room as me. If you were, I would have hit you with this bottle of olives, experimentally verifying that it, your head, was solid ivory. You doofus, I said HAREM PANTS, not Karen's pants.

Thus reprimanded, I set out to concentrate on fulfilling those orders. I must confess, I felt like an old Arabian reprobate roaming the markets of Baghdad, looking for something to dress my well stocked harem with. It turns out that these articles of clothing are very common place baggy trousers whose main design brief is to conceal all contours.


One lives and learns.

16 comments:

Idling in Top Gear said...

Apparently, harem pants are extremely comfortable to wear. (Second hand knowledge, of course.)

Cynic in Wonderland said...

Narenji - youre on the way to becoming a fashionita - first the oscars, now the harem. Am throughly impressed with all this sartorial knowledge

narendra shenoy said...

@idling - I am EXTREMELY impressed with the depth of your knowledge. Yes, the missus avers that they are extremely comfortable but you knowing that without having the onerous burden of matrimony upon you speaks of resourcefulness commendable in one so young. We shall watch your progress with considerable interest ;)

@cynic - As one of my friends put it recently "Completely house trained!"

SRK said...

I am more interested to know how the name came into being!

are these things the same as the ones 'Jeanie' wears in 'I dream of Jeanie'...

PS: Yes, I do dream of her!

Gajar said...

"Bottled olives pack quite a punch!" is the cry among the womenfolk. I hope you're thanking Graham Bell for inventing the telephone. :-B

Or Martin Cooper of Motorola for inventing the cellphone (in case you used one)

Partho said...

You do this on purpose, Naren! I can't believe a married man of such long standing didn't know, to this day, of things like harem(haram?) pants, sequins(mostly pronounced sequence) and such workaday stuff. Catch up, old fellow!

Coconut Chutney said...

They are very comfortable, although my father bursts into uncontrollable fits of giggles whenever he sees me in them. Apparently I remind him of a very colorful marriage purohit. MEN.

rads said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rads said...

They look soooo comfortable! So the husband is capable of picking up harem pants without wife's guidance.

One learns something everyday! :D

Nav said...

Guess the last line would have more depth if read as "one learns and lives"...coz if you still wouldn't learn, olive bottle would only have been the beginning..

Satish Bhat said...

All's well that ends well...but then again, who was Karen ?

litterateuse said...

Wow, talk about multi-level comfort. First, get comfortable with the idea of being confused for Allaudin Khilji.

The result of a change of the sartorial mind at the last-minute: Roominess of a skirt meets slaphappiness of pants - makes pretty wives of funny bloggers look ravishing; mortals will be comfortable to say the least.

(Ok shut up gauri. No wonder you're a slob when it comes to fashion).

-g

PS: Wouldn't one instinctively keep checking on the "kaashta", though?

maxdavinci said...

Am I the only one who was thinking of Karen from Will&Grace and her amazing butt hugging pants?

I need to stop watching that show!

K.Ramachandran said...

What-ho, old man ! Short and sweet post, and i had never heard of Harem pants b4, btw the item is gr8, but the name is sexist but has remained for decades ( just lokked it up on the web )

Maddy said...

know what - my mind goes maiya maiya...taking me to istanbul and the scene from Guru..

Was that the plan? to do a maiya maiya? did u get the ring seat?

RustyNeurons said...

You are the best!!!