Thursday, April 3, 2008

Vyaas and Gautham elucidate some fine points in the esoteric field of advertising


Good evening viewers. Let me introduce the experts Mr. Vyaas and Mr. Gautam. Mr Vyaas and Mr. Gautham are both graduates of the Indian Institute of Management …

V – Er.. It is now known as the Indian Institute of Small abilities and Big Pay Packets.

I – Really? I hadn't heard….

G– It's the great move towards honesty and fairplay in business. We believe that the names of organizations must reflect what they really stand for.

V- That is why the Indian Government is asking Microsoft to call it self "Bug Factory". Ha Ha Ha.

I – Alright, then, lets get to our first question. What is the importance of advertising?

G – Presenting a product properly to the consumer is of vital importance. For example, if an unqualified person, such as someone who is not a graduate of the Indian Institute of Small Abilities and Big Pay Packets were asked to sell soap he would go......

V – Buy my soap! Buy my soap! Buy my soap!

G – Whereas the trained professional would do something like this
La, la la la la , la la la la laaaaa, la la la, Buy my soap.

V- But when it comes to serious advertising, it becomes more er... more… er….

I – Serious?

V – Exactly!

I – Can you give an example?

V- Advertising life insurance products is the classic example. Our target demographic is the person who is too lazy to set fire to his own money and decides to give it to the Insurance company instead.

G – The ad would go something like this… Mera abhimaan Mera vishwas, Mera Pyaar, Mera Zameer………Monkey business Life insurance ke vaje se....

V –GobbledegookGobbledegookGobbledegookGobbledegook

I – What did you just say?

G- He said the standard disclaimer "IF YOU PUT MONEY INTO THIS SCHEME, YOU'RE AN IDIOT AND YOU LOSE ALL RIGHT TO SEE IT AGAIN". You have to say it fast, for legal purposes.

I – So what do you think is the future of advertising?

G – I think it has great potential. There are so many ignorant and foolish people….

I – You mean, in the world of advertising

V- I think he means in the world of Consumers. Ha Ha Ha


KD. K Bodhi said...

ROTFL! Great dad-kids bonding! Won't the missus want to know why you are making the kids say strange things?

Is this some kind of prep. to get the kids into IIMs or B'wood?


Unknown said...

"Mera abhimaan Mera vishwas, Mera Pyaar, Mera Zameer". Hahahahahahahaha! There's one ad I particularly hate...weird one with a father imagining his infant daughter growing up and shoving a money packet under his nose saying, "Papa, yeh rakhlo, please." The guy shakes his head as he comes out of his, er, nightmare and happily fills the LIC some-investment-form.
The kids are hilarious! I second Ok's question. Is this some early training to send them to "Indian Institute of Small abilities and Big Pay Packets"? :P

Unknown said...

OK, Drenched, thanks. The kids keep pushing me into dark corners and threaten me with dire consequences unless I write them a script they can enact. Regular hams they have become. And I can't really complain to their mom because I have too many skeletons they know about. (Ate this piece of dutch cheese, just yesterday, out of the purest motives. I had paid a goodish bit and the cheese looked like it was turning moldy. And who should spot me but ol' eagle eye Gautham himself. He wants a bicycle).

So thats the story behind the videos. It is pure blackmail. I don't think they have any intentions of sweating it out for admission into the IISABPP. They're gunning for Bollywood.

Their aunt (sheela's twin sister) comes here next week to spend 2 weeks vacation. Hopefully mother and kids will be gainfully employed with something other than causing me hairfall.

Doamna said...

It was fabulous! Such happy children!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

so much wisdom in such young people!

Somebody Else said...

Man. How I wish I was that smart as a kid. I'd be Vijay Mallya already! :(

Maddy said...

aha - i see that you had to bribe the little gautam with an ice cream to get him away from his hockey game...